This is Allison, she lives across the hall. she made Li'l Brudder for me. i like her. 

Life is good. I do not have anything to complain about. Yes, I there are things that I wish could be different, but I can handle it. Negative things in my life can only make me stronger, right? I know that I have my breakdowns sometimes, but I think that I’ve become a better person through all of it. I never knew that I could endure all of these problems that I am facing.
I’m so glad that I have friends that I can ask questions to. It is very difficult to change religions, not just because I have to drain all of my previous notions that I have grown up with, but because I have to oppose my family. I know that when I gather up the courage to inform my parents, it will be incredibly difficult for me. Especially since I am so sensitive. Whenever I try to express myself I cry. To me this appears as though I am weak, but this is just the way I am. Whether I am angry or sad, I tend to just cry. And until I tell my parents I will really know how strong I am. But until then and throughout my life I will know that I am following the correct path.
I am still very happy with my life. i could not ask for anything more. i thank God for everything that i've had, have and will have.

Blog, this is the eye that i use to look at you.

well, i'm feeling really happy for some reason. i mean, i should really be feeling productive becuase i gots lots of things to do for tomorrow. eh. and i've also been feeling kinda throw-uppy today..actually since last night..so i dont know.
i went to the old lady store earlier today...i love that store. they had cookies and stuff on a little table in the store for all to eat. i didnt eat any becuase i had just had a delicious lunch. but i really like that store.
and also i saw that movie the polar express...way cute.
AND...i went to the gas station and there was this guy going through the trash and getting plastic bottles and i'm leaning against my car as my car eats...and then he goes "hey, your shoes are untied" and so i look down...but it was too late and i forgot that i was wearing my velcro shoes and i had no shoelaces. it was funny. we laughed at me.
and right now i'm watching Little Nicky..i havent seen this one in a while. adam sandler is awesome.
so i guess i'll continue working on my homework. blah.

So this weekend was not as bad as i thought it was going to be. ever since i moved into school this year every weekend has been crap (crying for one reason or another). BUT, to my surprise it was good. no crying, yay for me. i had talked to jennifer on the phone on wednesday night and she asked me if i had cried yet. i responded by saying "no, but it's only wednesday." we laughed at my silliness. yup. the break was good. I: played tennis, got smoothies, watched family guy, went shopping (got a new jacket), went christmas tree shopping and put up lights, played with my bunny, got marble slab, made my hair happy (hot oil), received the noise ratchet tickets in the mail for their LAST SHOW EVER!!! for jennifer tye and i, went to the movies and saw "christmas with the kranks" but wish i would have seen "finding neverland", watched tv ("yes, dear" and "everybody loves raymond" and movies from my house ("mean girls", "freaky friday"), hung out with my cousins kids (sometimes i prefer kids to adults), got new gloves (pink!!!), visited my friend that i hadnt seen in a while, got my awesome order in that included a super white and purply liquid eyeshadow (i dont like makeup, but i love this stuff), and that's about it, i think. it was good.
and now i think i have procrastinated enough and i will begin my hw that is due this comming week. i guess i dont feel rushed to do it becuase nothing is due tomorrow..only tuesday. and also becuase i dont have jennifer here being my mom and telling me to do my work. she comes back on late tuesday, until then...she will be missed.
BLAH, i dont want to do work!!!

YAY!!!

i am so excited for this movie to come out. December 17th is my new favorite date. i love Adam Sandler. he's evolved so much throughout the years.

Turner: Landscape with Distant River and Bay


There is a shimmering light and a pearly atmospheric glow. Turner implies rathar than depicts an object. He painted nature in the raw. His discovery of the power of pigment had an enormous influence on the course of modern art.

Seurat: Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte


This is my second favorite artwork. it took Seurat 2 years to complete this artwork (1884-1886). Seurat is known as the Pop of Dot.
Art history term of the day: Pointillism --> bright colors in tiny dots that when looked at from afar create an image, but when seen close up, just appear as tiny colored dots. it is also known as optical blending.

Botticelli: The Birth of Venus



This is my most favorite artwork in the whole wide world. i'm not sure why i like it so much. ever since i took my first art history class freshman year of high school, this piece has stolen my heart. it's just so beautiful! it's in Florence..i'm definitely going to go see it next year. The Birth of Venus was painted during the early Renaissance (1482). it is the first of many paintings to use Neoplatonism. this artwork marks the rebirth of Classical mythology.
Art history term of the day: Neoplatonism ---> When you combine Christianity and mythology.

The Pee-Wee's Playhouse show DVD is out in stores!!! there are two volumes. i'm adding that to my list of things that i want.

Dear Blog,

It is sad when your roommate randomly leaves to go visit her boyfriend while you sit...alone in the room writing a paper and wishing that you could do the same. Sometimes i wish that i could just make my mind blank of all the things that it thinks about so that i could just do my hw. but i know that this is not possible so i just write about it in hopes that one day it will happen, though very unlikely. on friday i totally broke down. i didnt know that so many things were bothering me. when i start to cry for one reason, i always end up crying about other things at the same time because i'll think of them too. so it just turns into a huge crying fest and only i'm invited. and when i cry, i just want to be held. but most of the time the people that i want to be held by are not near...so that makes me cry more. it's just not pretty. and it seems that every weekend when i go home, i cry for one reason or another. i hate it. so i had a depressing weekend. and the best part is that i get to have another horrible and even longer weekend for thanksgiving break. YES! oh man, i'm going to die. i dont know how i'm going to do it for christmas break and even worse, summer. i cant even think about it now or i'll go crazy. there are so many things that i have to force myself to not think about or else i would be constantly crying. that's life.

"DIE!!!" (stomp foot on ground). That is how i treat my enemies. Do you want be my friend?"

The colors of your eye

so i'm going to die next semester. i'm taking 17 units..holy crap! i'm taking sociology...kickboxing...edu 350 (child phych and developent)... art 390 (art under the dictators)...edu 317 (lit for children and adolecence)...and CORE 310 (international/intercultural studies). wonderful. i'm really excited about ALL of my classes..but i dont know, i think i'm going to die. it's really awesome...my list of classes that i have to take, is already more than halfway done! way cool.

Favorite quotes from Waking Life:

"Well, what could I say? I said if you're going to microwave that burrito, I want you to poke holes in the plastic wrapping because they explode and I'm tired of cleaning up your little burrito doings, you dig me? Because the jalapenos dry up. They're like little wheels. "

"The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving. Saves on introductions and goodbyes. The ride does not require an explanation, just occupants. That's where you guys come in. It's like you come onto this planet with a crayon box. Now you may get the 8-pack, you may get the 16-pack, but it's all in what you do with the crayons, the colors that you're given. And don't worry about drawing within the lines, or coloring outside the lines. I say, color outside the lines. You know what I mean? Color right off the page. Don't box me in!"

"Some guy on a computer figures something out, and then almost simultaneously a bunch of other people all over the world figure out the same thing. They did this study where they isolated a group of people over time, you know, and monitored their abilities at crossword puzzles in relation to the general population, and they secretly gave them a day-old crossword, one that had already been answered by thousands of other people, and their scores went up dramatically. Like 20%. So it's like once the answers are out there, people can pick up on them. Like we're all telepathically sharing our experiences."

"And the funny thing is our cells are completely regenerating every seven years. We've already become completely different people several times over. And yet, we always remain quintessentially ourselves."

"So you have these serotonic neurons that inhibit hallucinations and they themselves are inhibited during REM sleep. See, this allows dreams to appear real, while preventing competition from other perceptual processes. This is why dreams are mistaken for reality. To the functional system of neural activity that creates our world, there is no difference between dreaming a perception and action, and actually the waking perception and action."

"Super profundo on the early eve of your day."

"It's mostly just me dealing with a lot of people who are exposing me to information and ideas that seem vaguely familiar, but at the same time it's all very alien to me. I'm not in an objective, rational world. Like I've been flying around. I don't know. And it's weird too because it's not like a fixed state, it's more like it's this whole spectrum of awareness, like the lucidity wavers. Like right now, I know that I'm dreaming, I've been worried about even talking about it. This is the most in myself and in my thoughts that I've been so far. I'm talking about being in a dream. But I'm beginning to think that it's something that I don't really have any precedent for. It's totally unique."

What i want

*substitute boyfriend (so this link was supposed to take you to this website that talked about this man-sized pillow for women to hold)
*second box set of Family Guy
*toe socks
*baby turtle and/or seahorse
*movies
* lotion (sheer freesia from bath and body works)
* little earings (preferrably stars or something pretty)..i havent worn earrings in forever
* pretty necklace (small also)
*cd's (Incubus being one of them)
* bigger memory card for my camera and myself if possible
*paper cut invincibility
*sandals
*neverending bag of flaming hot cheetos
*Pee-Wee's Playhouse DVD
*"Yes, Dear" DVD (funniest tv show)

Reading

i should be doing my questions for "Waking Life"(which is an awesome movie) that are due on friday..but...i'm reading an awesome book online (Candide by Voltaire)..i dont even rememeber how i came upon this website. these are some fun quotes that like so far:

*The legs are visibly designed for stockings, accordingly we wear stockings.
*The Baron chanced to come by; he beheld the cause and effect, and, without hesitation, saluted Candide with some notable kicks on the breech and drove him out of doors.
*She discharged upon his head a utensil full of water. Good heavens, to what excess does religious zeal transport womankind!

My feet are hanging over the edge, so catch me

Why do i always give myself unnecessary stress? i'll have about a week or two to write a paper or do an assignment...yet, i'll still wait untill a day or two before it's due to even begin to write about it or even think about it. i dont know why i do this. maybe becuase i know that they are not going to be difficult to write so i just dont worry about it until it is absolutely necessary. i should really work on this and improve myself. every year i tell myself that i will: be more organized, be a better student and not procrastinate anymore. but it never lasts for more than a few days or a few weeks before i return to my wrongful ways.

EXTRA EXTRA

You will be missed!!!


i just heard, well read the most horrible news ever! Noise Ratchet is no more!!! (well, they're having 3 last shows. two of which i will definitely go to). but i am sad. i will no longer see that hot drummer boy whose drumstick i have. no longer will i talk to the 70's guy from NR on the way to the bathroom. no longer will i have adventures in holywood on a rainy tuesday night. no longer will i be able to ditch class in order to go see them. this saddens me deeply.

No more sideways Tye (aka Cruelo) and Jennifer

Hot boy from NR that i will miss oh so much!!! 

Dinner at the Hester's

soo today at 6 jennifer and i are going over to the Hester's for dinner. i'm not as freaked as i thought i'd be. i guess because i've (crap, i know the word in spanish, but not in english) well, it pretty much means that i've spent enough time with them and i'm more comfortable than i was before, when the sight of Nick's mommy made me want to run to my mommy. so yeah.

today, i am a pink girl. i like pink. i remember a time when i hated pink. and i dont know when this love affair with the color pink started...but i'm saddend to say that it is slowly deminishing into nothing. i still have the many pink shirts and the pink shoes and the hot pink pants, but i dont get those same urges to wear pink as much as i used to. it makes me sad. and today while i was at work and i was walking to the workroom the secretary was like "pretty in pink" and that's it. but i'm sure i'll be ok. hopefully it will return someday not too far from now. until then, i will cry. see, i'm weird..i have to be in a certain mood to wear certain colors. that is why my closet is seperated by colors. (blues together, greens together, purples...and so on).

i have some awesome quotes from my Values and Critical Thinking book to put in here, but i need to read. sooo, precious blog, i will enlighten you later. wish me luck so that i dont do anything dumb while i'm at the Hester's for dinner, becuase i will definitely need it. (smile).

Blog, i must say that in this short time that i have had you..i am beginning to get attached. is this good, i dont know. but nonetheless you are here and i need you. you need a name. i will think of a great name for you and you will rejoice.

There is a fountain in the background. you just cant see it becuase there is a forcefeild around jennifer. 

This is Jennifer and i at the California Science Center

So Saturday morning we went to out friends wedding. after that we stopped at In n Out then we went to her house and i saw the first of the many boy butts that i was going to see that day. we ate our food on the way to the museum. we only got a litttle lost this time. downtown LA is too crowded. but we at last we got there and then we got to wait in this awesome 20 minute line to buy the tickets to the exhibit which we thought was free. oh well. i learned lots of stuff. i saw the different stages of a fetus...smoker's lungs...brains that had died of strokes...ulcers...just lots of interesting things (all of which were naked. question: why does it seem that only males donate their bodies to science when they die?). yeah. then afterwards we played in the Rose Garden and fountain and pretended we had gotten married and posed. it was fun. ummm, and the museum is right by the Colluseum, so there was a USC football game. we saw lots of half naked, drunk college guys. (blah) one of the boys was playing in the fountain while his buddoes cheered him on. poor guy is probaby dying of a cold right about now...it was so cold. yeah, then we left. after getting on the wrong freeway a couple of times, we were good. then, we went to the shrimp cocktail place again. it was yummy. then we went to jennifer's house then i drove myself home. i had a good day. sunday was a boring day. but at least i finished The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. it had been a long time since i read it. alright, so i will go eat lunch...then i will come back and post more pictures.

The best is still yet to come

last night was fun. well, yesterday was fun. first, two of my three classes were cancelled. then jennifer and i went on our weekly thursday night starbucks trip. first we went to the one that is like 3 minutes from school..but that one was full, so we went to the one that is 5 minutes from school, but that one was also full. so we ended up going to one that was 7 minutes from school. and it was fun. i tried something new!!! jennifer was so proud of me. (jennifer says that when i'm an old lady i'm going to go to the same restaurant every tuesday morning and order the same thing from the same waiter). i tried this tea. it was Chi..or something like that. it was good. ummm, while we were there, we took our study abroad packets so that we could narrow down or top choices of where we want to go. we kinda rulled out spain becuase we would have to take the classes in spanish. we both know spanish well enough to carry out a conversation and write papers and stuff, but the thought of having to POSITIVELY have to write everything in spanish freaks us out...so yeah. anyways, so our top choice is athens, greece. (fall semester..we'd leave sep and come back dec) and our second choice is ferrara, italy (spring semester...we'd leave jan and come back may) so yeah. yeah. and this would all take place this comming year (our jr year). OH, and then unfortunately they closed this starbucks early (10) and so we came back to the room. we were in here for like 5 minutes and then she goes "you know what sounds so good right now?" and i'm like "what?" and then she's like "a shrimp cocktail" and i'm like "lets go!" so we went online and tried to find out the phone number to the place to see when they closed. it took a bit of warching (we found an El 7 Mares in nebraska, but that didnt help) so we went..after some close encounters to death we go there right at 11 when they closed, but they still fed us. it was beautiful. then after a few more near death experiences and getting lost like twice, we got back to the room. (we went into the mountains) and now my driving privileges have been revoked. yeah. yup. and then we got home and called the bf's and then jennifer and i just talked about stuff untill like 3 am then we figured that we should sleep becuase she had to wake up at 7:30. yup. AND, i lost my ID card. today when we went to go get lunch i got the scanner and i couldnt find my card in my little thingy, sooo we came back to the room to look for it but we were unsuccessful. so the girl just typed in my ID number and all was good. then we ate lunch up in the room while we watched "i love lucy". it was good. and now jennifer's left me. i'm' going home in like half an hour. yup. and then tomorrow i'm going to fun museum and wedding in the morning. yup. AND, i Love my bf. he is super. he makes me laugh. especially when he talks in spanish. it makes me so happy that he's learning it. yay! i think i' m done for now. oh, i just want to say that i think jennifer is awesome. she's has been through so much these past like 3 months and she still manages to be a great student, a great friend and a great person.

my Love:

This is my boyfriend and i Love him a lot a lot a lot.


Nick is the bestest, most superest, hottest, smartest, yummiest person in the whole wide world. he is the best thing that ever happend to me. he always knows just the right things to say at the right time. when i'm sad becuase he isnt doing something or when he's doing something that i dont like, somehow he'll make up for it in another way without even knowing that i was sad in the first place. he is amazing. time goes by so fast when i'm with him. he accepted me despite the many restrictions that my parents placed on us. he never gave up on us, even when he was going to go to another state for college. he is just wonderful. i could cry of how happy i am that someones as great as him Loves me. someone as knowlegeable about everything as he is. i can ask him about any topic and he can give me some sort of answer (even if he just bs's it), he's just so smart. and i'm so lucky to have him in my life.baby, you've taught me so much in the almost two years that we've been together. i will never come close to the amount of things you've taught me. thank you. we're going to have a beautiful life together.
Nick, i Love you.

Friends

Sooo, i'm excited for saturday. jennifer and i are going to go to the California Science Center after we go to our friends wedding. it'll be fun. we're going to get pretty for the wedding and then we'll be normal for when we go play. so the museum should be good...we're going to see this exhibit on the human body. they have human corps' displayed and they're like cut up to show muscles and veins and bones and different body parts. when i first heard about it i wanted to vomit..but after i got over that i was like, "this is cool"...and so i told jennifer and now we're going. yay! i like playing with her. one minute we'll be talking about serious stuff and the next we're just being silly girls. it's fun. that's the type of relationships that i like. fun fun. i like living at school. i'm still not completely detached from my house becuase they still make me go home on the weekends, but that's good enough for me compared to how it used to be. and i dont know that caused my parents to become more lenient towards me (letting me be out later and not really ask where i was going and pretty much letting me go out everyday this past summer) but i am so glad. it kinda happed over night too. becuase i never brought it up to them...it just happened. good. i'm just grateful that it happened. (sigh) now if only they could be cool about everything. oh man, one day i'm just going to die because of all of this pressure. i know that i'm just going to die the day that i get the courage to tell my parents about what i've been doing on wednesdays for the past couple months (going to a NON-catholic bible study). yup, i'm just going to drop dead. and then hearing about other people and how they were kicked out of their house for becoming another religion, scares the crap out of me more. soo, yeah. and then the stress of not knowing where i'm going to live when i graduate. if i'm going to teach in california or some other random state. i'm the type of person that needs to know things. i need to know times, dates, exactly what's going to happen. i dont like not knowing..especially when it involves me. Ahhhh. yeah. and i'm sure if i think harder i'll find more things to stress about. how wonderful. sooo, i'm going to go do something mean to jennifer (she's asleep). bye.

Funny:

*A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "so how do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "because i pissed in it's ear and it didnt move," answered the child. "you did what?!?!" asked the teacher. "i leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didnt move.

*A little girl asked her mother, "can i go outside and play with the boys?" her mother replied, "no you cant play with the boys, they're too rough." the little girl thought about it for a moment then said, "well, if i find a smooth one, can i play with him?"

Places to go

So at dinner today(well..yesterday i guess if i want to be technical) jennifer and i were talking about all the stuff that we want to do together (with and without the boyfriends).

WITH:
*mountains
*museums
*bonfires
*concerts
*camp out
*dress-up dinners
*Catalina

WITHOUT:
*Hawaii (this summer)


i'll add more as we discuss it more

of course the day that i decided to dry my hair after i shower is the day that it decides to rain. blah

soo, this weekend was....interesting. on friday i picked up my sister from her school, then we went to go see that movie The Incredibles. i liked it..it was good. it was two hours though..a little lengthy for an animated movie..but it was funny. then we rented movies and went back home. then saturday my cousin calls me and asks me if i can take her daughter and her friend to Disneyland so i do. we had a good time. i went to California Adventure for the first time..it's pretty. anyways, so i get home at around 10:30..11 then i go to sleep becuase pleasing two ten year old kids is not easy especially while at Disneyland. then like at 12 my sister wakes me up telling to go look outside and see my car. so i go out there and my rear window is shatterd and has a hole in it. soo, i go back in the house and get my keys and then i look in the backseat and i find the rock that was used. yup. i dont know who it was..i dont really care. so yeah. and i couldnt really do anything about it on sunday becuase it was sunday and people dont work that day. so i slept at home and this morning i called a bunch of window people and yeah. but i had to get some stuff done here at school, so i had to have my mom drive me to school. so i am car less..but jennifer's going to drive me home later today so i can get it so that i can go to my community service tonight becuase i love my kids. yup. AND i brought Mona Lisa Smile from my house so that we can watch it. and i also brought the first Shrek so that we can watch it in spanish because it's WAY funnier in spanish than in english. yay! AND jennifer brought Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! umm, and it's raining right now. i like the rain. the only thing that i dont like is that it makes me lazy (moreso than i always am). so now i am going to be productive untill jennifer gets out of class and then we're going to my casa. i'm supposed to be at work right now but "i have a paper to write"..which i really do. that doesnt mean i'm going to be working on it. hehe. bye!

Today

my hair smells pretty today. it's getting long too. this summer i cut off like 14 inches..i miss it. it was my most favorite 14 inches in my life. but, it's growing fast..but i still miss it. (sigh).

i should be starting a paper right now that is due tomorrow

so i had a crappy day today. i woke up at 9 so that i could finish my paper that was due at 4. and the paper was done by like 10:30 and THEN since i dont have a printer (because i wanted to be a good daughter and not have my parents spend more money than they needed to) i had to email the paper to myself so that i could print it out in the lab, BUT the crazy mother of a paper was too big becuase it had images so i couldnt email it or save it to a disk or cd. so i was very upset. then i tried sending it to my super friend sophia over AIM but it was all distorted. so i ended up just emailing the text to my teacher so that she wouldnt think that i was trying to get more days to work on it. so yeah. so because of all this i had to miss my Art History class..(sad face)...i like that class. yup. sooo, then i tried to sleep but couldnt fall asleep. then i had two uneventful classes then went to dinner then came back here to the room to try and start this next paper that's due tomorrow that i dont even know how to begin. but i know once i get it going, i'll be fine. but, blah! and so i was still feeling poopy, then the boyfriend calls and i am poopy becuase i havent had the best day and so my lack of emotion shows. and i am sorry for that. it's just that sometimes all i need is a hug from the right person...and the right person happens to be in texas. soo, after i tried to work on my paper but got nowhere... i decided to shower to wash away the yukkyness of today. it worked alittle..hot showers are nice. then i dried my hair while i watched Zoolander. then jennifer and i went to starbucks. (we've decided to make thursdays our official go to starbucks day to discuss "personal and non-personal issues". so it'll be good. and now we're back becuase they closed the starbucks at 11. yup. and now i get to work on my paper(after i talk to the bf) that's due at 1 tomorow. i'll proabbly have to call out of work to work on it, depending on how much i get done tonight. so yeah. that's it for now.

Quote of the Day

"Forgive him, for he is a white boy. for he doth not know what he speaks of."
~Jennifer

Twin

i know it's only been about two months (sep 5th) that i started living here in the dorms with jennifer, but we are starting to have the same mannerisms. i've always noticed that we act alike ever since i met her last year, but i noticed it even more so last night when my friend was visiting me and we'd be moving our hands the same way as we explained things and THEN this morning as she was getting her stuff ready to go to class and i was on my bed studying for my test, we both go, "mmm, lunch" just randomly after it had been quiet for a few minutes (which by the way isnt very often). so it was scary. and people are constantly telling us that we act alike and talk alike. it's fun, i dont mind. and THEN this one time where were at Six Flags or somthing and this man goes "are you two sisters?" and we're like, "no". and then he's like, "well, you two look alike". BUT i think he was just trying to neglect the fact that he was old and possible going through a mid-life crisis and was trying to pick up on 19 year old girls. so i think that jennifer and i looking alike is an insane thought because jennifer is a tiny little girl that is only 5'2 (on a good day) and i am 5'7. she wears glasses and i dont..but i do think they'd be fun to wear.plus, guys that wear glasses are hot. but i'm not a guy so it wouldnt matter, but i just wanted to add that. oh, and by the way..jennifer's birthday is in january..she'll be turning 20. which means that she's almost 30! and then she'll be 40 then 50!!! therefore, jennifer is old to me now. i just turned 19 in august. so i'm not 30 yet. it's good. and for her birthday we're going to go on The Price is Right..it'll be fun. yay! this is the end.




this is jennifer and i at the Getty museum

Quote of the Day

"i'm thinking of the Lord; but i can make myself stop if i want..but i dont want to."
~ one of the little boys from my community service site